“A healthy sex life is a key ingredient to a happy, loving, and lasting marriage,” says sex expert Nikki Ransom-Alfred. Yet, “after the excitement of the wedding day and settling into marriage, couples will often find that the quantity and quality of sex will take a downturn.” So what’s a married couple to do? Check out these eight things you’re likely doing wrong without even knowing it, and have fun correcting the problems beginning tonight!
You’re not doing the deed often enough.
“Sex is how you express love and desire for each other, and connects the two of you on a physical, mental, emotional and spiritual level,” Ransom-Alfred says. What’s more, when you orgasm, your brain releases dopamine, serotonin and oxytocin — the love hormone — that keeps you crazy about your guy. “Discuss with your partner how often he would like to have sex and then see how you two can compromise so that all parties are satisfied,” Ransom-Alfred suggests. Hint: The more often, the merrier you both will be.
You’re not openly discussing what you want.
“Couples are often embarrassed to discuss sex with each other, even though they have it with each other,” explains Ransom-Alfred. “Some are nervous to talk about their wants and desires for fear of being judged or turned down by the other.” Start by telling your significant other that discussion about sex and sexual desires are a safe zone. Then, “talk with each other about sex acts that you’ve always wanted to try, new sex positions, what turns you on, what turns you off, and more,” Ransom-Alfred says. “This will only enhance your sex life together and enhance your marriage overall.”
You’re playing it safe — and repetitive — when it comes to sex.