Have you ever been gabbing along and suddenly seen the light in your date’s eyes fade…? You wonder ‘what did I say?’ and quickly replay the last five minutes of conversation, struggling to discover the origin of offense. If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Most of us have at one time or another stuck the proverbial foot in mouth.
- Your past relationship / marriage. While this is a fine – and necessary – topic once you’re more intimately acquainted, your date should feel like he or she is the focus of your evening – not the ghost of a past relationship.
- Problems with kids and family. Again, this is too much, too soon. Complaining about relatives (even when warranted) can make you seem critical and stodgy on a first date. Let your partner get to know you better before unloading familial drama.
- People unfamiliar to your date. This is probably good advice for any conversation: Limit discussion of unknown third parties to a few minutes or less. Obviously, there are exceptions to the rule (funny stories, relevant anecdotes, celebrities, etc.), but by and large, people aren’t interested in people they don’t know
- Political and religious viewpoints. This should be self-explanatory. It’s just rude to pull out the soapbox in front of someone you just met. Your date can’t disagree with you without being "disagreeable." Politics and religion are very important discussions to have… later.
- Money. Talking about finances – both positively and negatively – is very off-putting to most people. And never, ever, complain about the cost of the date if you’re the one paying. It makes the other person feel like you regret taking them out
While no topic should be off-limits in a committed relationship, don’t pull the big guns out in the beginning. Get to know one another gradually. Think of an onion: peel away the layers, but save the juicy stuff for later.
