For the last one decade, the Nabwiso’s have been one of the most inspiring couples of the millennial generation. They’ve remained consistent, advanced in their respective careers as actor and actress, morphed into directors and reasonably successful entrepreneurs.
Over the last many years, they’ve not shied away from sharing their lives with us, at least for what they think we should know as a public. We their fans have been fairly loyal at following them ever since we fell in love with them on the famous television series “The Hostel” where they met over 11 years ago, acting as Gilo & Hope.
Like research has shown that majority of couples, at least somewhere between 28 – 30% meet at work according to Yourtango, the Eleanor and Mathew Nabwiso are no exception. In a YouTube interview with The Romantic Mukiga, the celebrated actor and actress recounted for us on how it is that they met.
Eleonor Nabwiso: We met at work actually. For my side, I remember walking into the offices and I saw Mathew seated somewhere separate from the rest of the crowd, and I was thinking who is that guy. Everyone was like, he’s a proud guy, he sits by himself. And then slowly, he said “hi”, I said “hi” and we started talking, became friends, then more than friends and then he proposed so here we are. So we met at “The Hostel” series
Asked whether he ever imagined himself getting married to her, Mathew Nabwiso noted that;
I’ll say personally I think at about that time I made a decision to get somebody, a lifetime companion. So I’ll say I met her at a point when I was looking for the right person. You know there’s that moment when you’re done playing games and you want to really focus on life and marriage is one of the things that you need to put in because it helps us especially as men to focus in life.
Look at any married man and any single guy, same age, the things they do are going to be kind of different in terms of say economic progress, because these women actually help put us into focus because you have somebody, you’re responsible for so every decision you’re going to make in life is going to be much more informed.
The two lovey-doveys dated for only a year and decided that they had seen enough of each other to take the next step, marriage. They define their year of courtship as “very interesting and fun”.
I’m slightly older than half so I was looking at things in that certain direction. I think I was too serious for life but again too serious for life is not good. Sometimes you need somebody who helps you unwind and she was that person for me, Matthew elucidated further.
She was very young, fun loving, she was very jumpy, she was crazy. She would get me out of the very serious character. To live again so it was fun and I think that was one of the things that informed me that I needed to be somebody like her for the rest of my life. Besides being an actor on the Hostel series, I had a day job with a corporate company and you know there every thing is too serious.
But after all the stress of work, balancing between work and acting—at the end of the day you need to unwind and you need somebody who is going to help you unwind and she was exactly that. So it help me know that this is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with so she complements my life that way.
Eleanor acknowledges that her family had some reservations over the pace at which their relationship was moving, wondering why they seemed to be in a hurry. Slightly over one year into the relationship, she had a child to bear, a graduation to have and an introduction to prepare for. Everything was just happening so fast. But all that didn’t matter because they had seen enough of each other, the good, the ugly, name it all—they didn’t hide anything from one another and as Elneanor notes, “there’s no time limit to dating”.
And like Matthew puts it, “you need to be open with each other” as he advises those in the dating arena on how to choose a life partner. “Show them your true self instead of hiding, too afraid that you could scare them off because it doesn’t matter when you show your true self, if they are to go they will and they are to stay, they will.” Character is key above everything else. He goes on to enlist for us the four things one ought to consider when choosing the person to spend the rest of your life with.
Finances: You need to be open with each other when it comes to areas of finances. I did that. I was open with her many times, even when I had money, sometimes I would act like I don’t have it. Can you still stay with me when I have no money? And she proved to me that money is not a big deal, I knew that when I have money or no money she will be here.
Attitude towards work: We need to have the right attitude towards work. When somebody has the right attitude towards work, then you know they are good. Because we could get married today and I have the money but what happens tomorrow when I’m incapacitated. Does she have the right attitude to work for us, because that’s what is sustainable and these are things that some people don’t look at. She was always awake by 4 AM and on set by 5 AM. That is commitment, the right attitude towards work, which gave me confidence that if anything happens, we shall survive.
Today a lot of young girls say I want a guy with money, and yes he could have it, but what happens tomorrow when he doesn’t. It can start well, you have a good wedding, you have the nice car and the house but things could go wrong. So, what happens when things go wrong? Those are things you have to consider for a long-term relationship. That’s why today you have a high rate of divorce today because people focus on the wrong things.
The other thing is character and lastly, anger. How do you handle anger? Yes they could have all the above but what happens when you annoy them? They could break the TV, all the cups and plates without thinking that things cost money, and that they will cost money to replace. It could be that they are going to go and do the worst thing to you for revenge. These are things that are not sustainable in a relationship.
These are things to focus on for a long-term partner, a marriage companion. The couple go on to acknowledge that they fight, but when they do, they don’t let their fights get in the way of their normal lives.
Matthew and Eleanor emphasize that staying friends, good communication and continuously dating each other helps to keep their marriage thriving even after ten years, almost eleven.
