Why You Were BORN To Cheat On The Person You Love (Yes, REALLY)

If there's one thing we can all agree on, it's that cheating on your partner is just plain wrong! … Right?

Those of us who have been on the receiving end of betrayal know how incredibly gut-wrenching and down-right devastating it is. Just raise the topic in a crowded room and watch how quickly people spout off about how infidelity is immoral, cruel and unforgivable. Honestly, I couldn't agree more.

Not only have I been cheated on, but many of my dear friends (both men and women) have had their hearts and marriages shattered by a cheating partner. 

On the other hand, I also know just as many people who are the ones guilty of doing the cheating.

In every single case, the act ultimately caused nothing but pain and misery for all parties involved.

Even the ones who strayed admit their regret over cheating and quickly realized that the "perks" were little more than fleeting illusions that left them feeling empty and worse about themselves than ever before.

And yet, so many people still do it. The question is: WHY?

I think we’re all pretty tired of hearing the blame-based reasons modern relationship experts give us — He cheated because you gained weight, because he was bored, because he didn’t feel appreciated. She cheated because you don’t romance her anymore, because she felt ignored and neglected, because you didn't make her feel like a woman anymore.

Well, if that's all true, how do you explain the latest research which clearly states that even happily married people cheat?

To sort through the confusion, I turned to the true expert on this issue, biological anthropologist Helen Fisher and found some sobering information in her acclaimed book “Anatomy of Love: A Natural History of Mating, Marriage and Why We Stray.”      

The answer to the age-old question of 'why people cheat' is an incredibly bitter pill to swallow because it's not something any of us can control. And, if we're being honest, our deepest, darkest fear is that without being able to prevent infidelity, we leave ourselves open to the very real possibility we'll be hurt and betrayed by someone we love. 

Well, brace yourselves, because when it comes to adultery, here’s what’s really going on:

1. Cheating isn't going anywhere, we all do it (and always have).

Despite the moral outrage against infidelity, in every culture across the globe, during every period in recorded history, among every race, religion, and in every social structure, cheating occurs … and frequently.

Fisher says, “Despite our attitude that philandering is immoral, regardless of our sense of guilt when we engage in trysts, in spite of the risks to family, friends, and livelihood that adultery inevitably entails, we indulge in extramarital affairs with avid regularity.”

So, if you think your country, culture, age, gender, or religion is a defense against infidelity, you’re wrong. Cheating is a strong thread that has been painfully weaved throughout every aspect of human history.

2. Both men and women are biologically wired to cheat.

I confess, this is the part that really freaked me out because instincts wired into our DNA are incredibly hard to override.  

Fisher’s well-substantiated theory is “that sometime around 4.4 million years ago our ancestors developed a dual human reproductive strategy: serial monogamy and clandestine adultery.” Research shows that cheating serves an important purpose: It’s part of a clever reproductive strategy nature devised to guarantee that humans keep procreating.

Yep, I know what you’re thinking (because I thought the exact same thing)