With just days left to their wedding, I had the opportunity of sitting down for a conversation with Capital FM’s “The Big Wedding Season 8” winners Tesi and Tony. A young and vibrant bride and groom in waiting, glowing as if to suggest that they’re being bathed in milk and smeared with ghee.
It’s not every day that you hear of a love story that starts with a man asking girl’s aunt for the contact number of the girl he intends to court, and yet Tony did just that. (Hats off my guy.)
After being ushered into the Kisementi based radio station, we exchanged pleasantries and I congratulated them upon having emerged winners of this year’s edition of The Big Wedding.
So tell me about that feeling when they told you guys are the winners!
Excitement and disbelief. Me I actually thought I was dreaming. Also the nervousness before being announced. All that turned into too much excitement. Tesi noted before Tony added that “yes we were nervous but I was happy for her. She screamed and kissed Capital FM. She had been praying for this more than I did.”
Was she happy for you? I asked Tony.
I don’t know if she was happy for me.
Tesi: Yeah. I was happy for him because he gets to save the money.
Has the wedding come a little to early or just in time?
Tesi: At just the right time. I had faith, because, at the beginning of the year, you know how you normally write your plans! The wedding was already part of it. But, of course, because of finances, the one that was supposed to finance it came to say no.
We need to build fast. We need to do this fast so the wedding comes in later. So when the opportunity came, I was like, oh, maybe it’s God answering my prayer. We actually sent in our letter among the last people, so we thought maybe we would not even go through, they’ve already selected the top ten or the people that they were going to read out. And the next morning, our letter was read, like, what are the odds of that?
It’s at this point that Capital FM’s Beatrice, the lead coordinator of the whole event, who was on the sidelines listening in made her contribution to the conversation, giving insight on how the entire process of selecting the letters that are eventually read on radio goes down.
Beatrice: We receive thousands of letters, sort through them and pick out the ones with the best stories. It’s more of a vetting thing. We picked out twenty and put those before a panel that then decided the top 10 but usually all the 20 are read on radio. But because we had little time to work with, we went straight to the 10 and once we start reading out those letters, then it’s out of our hands. It’s the listeners that vote.
For you Tony as the “supposed financer” of this big wedding, what did it mean to you when she brought the news to you that you guys are the winners?
I actually brought the news to her. I was the one with the phone when they called. She was making breakfast. Actually, when they called, I knew it was Lucky because nobody calls me in the morning with a 0414 number. So I knew it was Lucky. (Lucky is a morning radio show host alongside Gaetano at Capital FM).
Maybe it was the embassy calling to say that your Visa application has been granted, I interjected.
I have never applied for a visa any where. So I knew, and we were waiting. We were listening to the radio. It was 7:44 and I’m not getting a call. They said they’re announcing at 7:45. So I had started dressing up when the call came. When I saw the call, I just ran to the kitchen and I told Tesi, it is Lucky calling. Actually, I think I gave the phone to her. And then we started screaming.
Usually planning a wedding comes with its own stresses and stretches. For us who have been in that line of business since 2015, we know what it means for couples. Now that you’re just the winning couple for whom service providers have already been chosen because they chose to be a part of this big wedding, what has this process been for you like given that you skipped most of these processes of let’s draft a budget, let’s call uncle so and so for advice, how has that been for you guys?
Tony: It has been really very exciting because this is actually one of the things we were always afraid of. Recently, I just changed my number because too many people had it, and I told Tessie, now that I’ve changed my number, who’s going to contribute for us on the wedding? So, I think, in a way God answered our prayers.
I’m not used to this thing of asking people for money. I financed my introduction. I didn’t call for any meeting. I didn’t ask for anything and that is what I had in mind for my wedding. So this is a relief. It is like a burden unloaded off. It is really good, Tony remarked before his bride to be added that “and also get pissed at people because they didn’t come for the meeting. You know people have their own problems. It’s not like they refused. So this saved us from that.”
So how has the schedule of the big wedding interactions, meeting service providers, doing interviews and all affected your work?
It hasn’t been so hard because Tesi is home. She is on leave. She had just had a baby so it is easy for her and for me I’m a business person, I don’t work alone. I have people I work with and which gives me time to do all this.
It’s been intimated to me that you’re going for counseling and it’s always a fun moment for couples, for some it’s a bit of a sour bit because it’s also time to have uncomfortable conversations. What has been the highlight of your counseling sessions?
Tony: Actually, counseling is good, but we have had a bit of our uncomfortable conversations. We have talked. We have been together for 8 years now. So every bit of discomfort, we have discussed and we are still together.
Do you have this feeling that you’ve exhausted all the uncomfortable conversations?
I don’t think I have exhausted mine, Tesi said.
Tony: It’s all a process but at least like 60%. But obviously we are still learning. Every day we learn something new because the teachings of the church are kind of different from what we have been doing. So, it is good to know the worldly things about marriage and the church’s thinking about marriage so that we incoperate them together.
Tesi you mentioned something that she’s more prayerful than you are in a sense. How has that journey been of trying to bring him to the prayer table as often as you would like?
Actually, the journey has been good so far now. The first time I would pray alone, but these days when I kneel down to pray, I see him coming to join. Previously I would be the one calling him, come and we pray, but now it’s him driving himself so I think we’re in a good place.
You guys moved in together, what was your biggest surprise about his personality? Usually when you’re dating, everything is good and rosy, things are flowing because you only see him every once in a while, when everything is organized.
First of all, it was his temper. He’s very short tempered—and he is a very organized man. You know how you press toothpaste any how! He always wanted you to press it from down-upwards, and actually, that created some challenges for us because me, I wouldn’t mind where you press it from.
Of course, but with time, you get to learn what this person wants and what he doesn’t. And me, I’m more of a quiet person and he likes speaking his mind out so there is a way we always strike a balance. Unlike poles attract each other and like poles repel.
For your case Tony, what was your biggest surprise about her?
That. Because I am organized. I want things organized in a way that it looks easier, that you know when I’m going to do this, this is where my shoes are. And Tesi wouldn’t mind. She put the shoe today here, and tomorrow she puts it the other side. So, you come, look, expecting your shoe to be in this place but you find it there, and that used to piss me off. But she now got it. The other issue is she’s a very bad time manager.
Anyway, for how long had you guys been dating before you decided to move in together?
Both: For two years.
Was that sufficient for you or you took a leap of faith? I asked Tesi
No. I made that decision. It’s not like I went there to try and error, no.
Tony: She wanted to get married right after campus. Even before I met her, that was her intention.
Tesi: I had never dated anyone like for just for just, no. My intention of dating was always marriage. If I start dating you, it’s not like maybe we are just dating. Even when I was young, it’s not like we are just dating. Once we are dating, my aim was that we are getting married. We are starting our lives together even if we are young, we are 20, we are 19, I’m seeing us together in the future. So even when I started dating him, still I was seeing that. I’m not just dating him because, you know, let us try it out and see, no.
Given that she’s that intentional, did that bring a bit of pressure on your side?
No, because when I met her, I was also looking to settle down. Actually, that very year, I had broken out of a relationship. The girl had travelled to the UK so I said I’m done with this, and I prayed and I said, I am tired of this. I want to get someone and settle down.
At the time of meeting Tony, Tesi acknowledges that she was seeing someone, who she describes as “unintentional and uncommitted” at the time. And yet, for all intents and purposes, right from the onset, Tony seemed to be in for the long hold. Nonetheless, his patience was tested to its near limits as he had to wait for over half a year before they could start dating after Tesi part ways with her previous partner. (Quite rare to find a guy that will wait that long in modern day dating.)
Tesi: It’s not like I just accepted immediately. I’m a Christian, I cannot start cheating when I have a man.
She goes on to describe Tony as “more handsome”, and more forward thinking so the decision became easy for her in the long run. “He would introduce me as his girlfriend among his friends, and wasn’t afraid to hold my hand in public even though we hadn’t yet started dating.”
Tesi: I actually accepted to be his girlfriend after 8 months.
Interviewer: After 8 months!!!
Her: Yes.
Interviewer: And he was still hanging around!!
Tony: I was still hanging around. And it’s the first time I’ve done that for anyone. And I sent her this song of “Should have been me”
I know you’ve told the story before but recount it for us, how did the two of you meet?
Tesi: I have an auntie who supplies them with some goods at their shop. He’s a businessman, so my auntie supplies them with some of the products. I think I had taken a whole year or two…or three without seeing her, so she got my number from my mum and she called me because she knew I was in town.
She requested to see me but I told her I was a bit busy but can I meet you after work. After work she was going to their shop and she directed me where to find her. We linked up and she asked me to push her where she was going, so we went to their shop. We entered and she did whatever she was supposed to do. I greeted everyone that was there but I didn’t notice him. He was on the counter, actually. I didn’t notice him.
And then after she was done, we left. Then later that evening, I received a call from him, but I didn’t have his number. I had not even noticed him. (Tony had got Tesi’s number from her aunt).
Did your aunt tell you how she had been bribed to give your number to someone?
She didn’t give me clear details. She told me there’s a guy I have given your number, but please don’t accept him. He’s not a good man. You know how aunts can be protective, and she didn’t want to be in that position, like in case anything goes wrong. They’ll hold her accountable that she’s the one that connected you. So she was like, please don’t accept him.
It is a tough ask to request a parent figure for their daughter’s number. How did you get that confidence? I asked Tony.
We have a relationship because we work together, so it was easy. You know you speak jokingly, because my father was there, my other colleagues were there in the shop and because people where listening, she couldn’t say no. I figured if I went to her in private, she could have said no. So she gave it to me then I called her.
When you received that first call, what was it like?
I received the call, I didn’t know the person calling but he spoke well so I gave him attention. And he was like, I was the one in the shop when you came with your aunt. We had a chat and he asked if we can meet up.
Was that like for the first date?
I wouldn’t call it a first date since I was already dating someone. So I just thought that may be he will be a good friend since he works with my aunt. He can be a good friend, you never know. Then we met the next day after the phone call. I was working at Mukwano courts and that’s where he used to pass going to their shop.
What was your first impression about him when you met him? He already had his impression formed about you to the extent that he remembered what dress you were wearing, the kind of hair that you had. What was yours about him?
The first point of meeting him, he was handsome, and young. He spoke well and warm.
After two years of dating, Tony and Tesi moved in together. In June 2022, they held their kukyala and subsequently an introduction in June 2023. And as luck would have it, they will be tying the knot at what we anticipate to be a very beautiful wedding on Friday 22nd November 2024 as the winning couple of Capital FM’s The Big Wedding Season 8.
The two will exchange vows at St. Joseph’s Centenary Church in Ndeeba and host their reception at Speke Resort Hotel, Munyonyo. The Kasiki will be held at Mezo Noir on Wednesday 20th November.
So are you guys looking forward to the day? Counting down the days!
Tony: Very much so. I have a friend who sends me days every day 10 days to go, 9 days to go.
Tesi: Me, I just can’t believe that my wedding is next Friday.